1- FIRST, CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY, THEN THINK ABOUT HOW TO BE HAPPY.
Bonnie Ware , worked in palliative care accompanying patients who had only a few months to live . In this process he managed to conclude that the repentance commonly expressed by these people was: ” I wish I had the courage to live a life of my own, not the life that others expected of me .”
Life is one and too short for us to naively hope for that perfect moment, in which we believe that happiness will descend from some heaven , and enter our life in the form of money, opportunity, person, and so on. And that simply by embracing that moment, we will gather the strength to : begin to be happy !.
No. Happiness is a journey much longer than that, deeper, and more comforting, by the way.
It is a daily decision to be happy , and like any other habit, requires a constant commitment to internalize it.
Then, have the INTENTION first , the predisposition to
To leave your comfort zone, to leave old habits and thoughts behind, and now begin to make simple modifications , which will bring that feeling of well-being and fullness, which will allow you to be happier.
That is: stop looking for happiness, and start to live happiness .
A study by June Gruber (Yale psychologist) suggests that looking constantly at being happy can create distress . This happens when those who seek it, do it thinking that everything that is suggested to achieve to achieve happiness, MUST indeed make them happy, and do not know how to deal with frustration , if the results do not appear in time and form.
The truth is that happiness is not the product of doing a thing, but a change in lifestyle, and not always achieved by magic.
You can start right now by making simple changes like:
- let it go,
- Relax (you can not control everything),
- Prioritizes peace and not always reason (it is much healthier),
- Redefine your values,
- Smile a little more
- say thanks,
- Do not pressure yourself
- Eat slowly and enjoy every bite,
- etc. (Etc = the rest of the 6 item points)
2- CHANGE THE PARADIGM: success does not make you happier.
This affects us all, because it is a paradigm that is still installed in society.
Cultural and social pressure in this regard has led us to believe that a title, a role, a position in a company, a giant check at the end of the month, a project that works, is what gives us happiness.
But: what would we be then, if all that disappears? Actually, the check, the position, the project is not bad, what is wrong is to condition our life, and our “happiness” to that, because they are too ephemeral issues to function as the sole support of our life .
That is why the road to success is completely the reverse of what we believe , and even we can get a lot, but much more than we imagine, if we walk in this way.
“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, then you will be successful. “- Albert Schweitzer
Who does things every day to be able to be in peace, in fullness and live moments of happiness, can triumph in the rest of the challenges of life: in relationships, in work, in family, etc.
According to a study by Sonja Lyubomirsky , Ph.D., of the University of California, indicates that when people feel happy, they tend to be optimistic, energetic and have confidence in themselves , which leads to the rest finding These people are more pleasant, sociable and reliable.
These aspects broaden the opportunities for: realizing a business, achieving successful goals, creating or developing new things, including getting to know a couple, making more friends, etc.
Then to be happier, try to leave that blind ambition, since the check will come, the car, and the status, will also come, if you first find the passion, the fullness in who you are and you do.
3-SURROUND OF PEOPLE POSITIVE AND HAPPY
Happiness is like a pretty disease or virus that spreads around us.
Being with positive, grateful, enthusiastic people brings us well-being, and they transmit to us that special energy that allows the day surrounded by them to be more pleasant, comforting, and even more productive.
A study by BMJ Group concludes that the happiness of people, depends to a large extent on the happiness of the people with whom it connects, and may even be a collective phenomenon.
That is why it is necessary to know who will be at our side , since the influence both positive and negative, is very great.
Is it not tiring to be around people who only complain, or that anything makes them sad, or who feel dissatisfaction with their life, transferring that frustration with little patient, unfriendly and selfish attitudes ?.
These people, unfortunately, do nothing more than throw us back, because it seems that, for them, nothing is perfect, not too good, not too cute, not too fair, too promising, not too safe, etc.
Whether it’s making a trip, starting a project, starting a relationship, setting up a party, or choosing a restaurant for dinner, it all becomes too complicated and the day seems to be full of obstacles. These things do not help us to grow, to advance, in synthesis, does not contribute anything in the life of someone who seeks to be happy.
If water that does not flow freely, when it becomes stagnant becomes ugly, so it is with the energy that surrounds us, with the situations that are presented to us.
Positive and optimistic people do not deny problems, nor an unpleasant reality, but have enough personal security, self-love, to know that they can change the course of things, and transform a sad, painful, or failure , In an experience that will make us wiser, or stronger to keep moving forward .
4 – LIVE IT NOW
“True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxiety dependent on the future” – Lucius Annaeus Seneca
A study published in Sciencemag , indicates that people spend 47% of their time rambling , which implies a constant absence of the present, of the decisions we make, of memorable moments … and then we ask ourselves how did Christmas come so Quick? How did all this happen this year?
One of the most relevant factors for happiness is to be focused on today, to embrace the present moment, to be aware of what is around us, and of every sensation that we are going through now, now, at this moment.
The past is not, you do not have yesterday, let alone the future. What we have is the present, and it is what we must learn to live.
If one thinks this two or three times, it sounds like little common sense, to want to experience or to live something that is no longer, or even to fantasize or worry about things that have not even happened yet, but this is how it happens life. That’s why nostalgia weighs so much, that’s why so many regrets, so many nonsense fears …
Why should we be so foolish and deprive ourselves of today? Today you are healthy, now you are drinking a hot coffee, delicious, now you are warm, now the sun is on your face and you can breathe, now you have a partner who accompanies you, a friend who calls you, a boss who encourages you, today is today.
Will we still have these things tomorrow? And … We do not know, but surely, live thinking about the past, or worried about the future, they take us out of the life we have today, which is perhaps the life that can make us happy, but with so much noise, we can not realize .
5- ACCOMPANYING AND HELPING OTHER PEOPLE
At this point I discovered something I had not thought so much:
Many times we are so preoccupied with our tasks, business, and worries that it seems that the hours of the day are not enough , but it has been shown that when we spend a couple of hours on other people, the perception of our time seems to be greater.
According to Cassie Mogilner, a researcher on Wharton School’s relationship of being happy and time management, he concluded, through a study, that: “yielding a few hours of our day to other people generates the sensation, At the end of the day, that time was much more abundant, even more so than if we did something for ourselves during our free time “
Whether it’s volunteering, being a mentor to someone, helping a partner, or being a confidant of a friend who needs an ear, expands your sense of time and results in great satisfaction.
However, beyond time or money, the important thing is the effect that these attitudes generate in the others. A simple gesture can make someone feel worthwhile, who is not alone, and give hope, even without knowing it.
I hope these tips on how to be happy are useful, and remember that you can start right now.
Do not expect the perfect conditions to start working on happiness. That does not exist. Happiness is a decision every day , and it is necessary to stop seeking happiness, and start living it .
For that, focus on the now, the present. Be aware of everything you have, feel, and live TODAY . Tomorrow, we do not know it, the past is gone, maybe you have everything to be happy, and you do not realize.
Enjoy every bite of food, every deep breath you can make, every morning you can appreciate the sun.
If you are sad, tired, frustrated, anxious, I assure you that being in the armchair, thinking about those things that make you bad, will not generate a change in you. Go for a walk, to run, to ride a bike, to overcome the comfort of the moment, and to feel better.
Look for people who take you further as a person, who challenges you, who allows you to advance in life, in all aspects. Be generous with your time, with your space, with a gesture. You do not know what a simple act can generate in the other.
If you feel that someone else you love or appreciate, you can do these lines well, do not forget to share this article !. Perhaps it can be “the” action of the day, contributing a share of love, to someone’s day.